Movies about ethical non-monogamy

We have been collecting and reviewing films that depict polyamory, swinger or open relationships for years. Here do we publish a subjective list of these with my short commentaries and "relevance points".

Relevance points (1-10, before the title) shows how relevant and useful we found the given movie for those who are beginners in ethical non-monogamy. The more realistic a film according to our personal experience and the more desirable, the better is the relationship among the people involved we gave higher points to the films.

Too bad means we couldn't make ourselves to watch through the series/movie for the reason we mention in the description.

We constantly work on the list. Is there a movie that you can't find on the list but that should be here? Please send us your recommendation here: info@nonmono.org!

(Please note that this site is based on the translation of the Hungarian version and many explanations are yet not available in English. We are working on the translations! )

10/10 Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) 96min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 15 August 2008 (USA) Summary: Two friends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
Countries: Spain, USALanguages: English, Spanish
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) 96min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 15 August 2008 (USA) Summary: Two friends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
Countries: Spain, USALanguages: English, Spanish
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) 96min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 15 August 2008 (USA) Summary: Two friends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
Countries: Spain, USALanguages: English, Spanish

Woody Allen's classic is a well-known example among the films displaying consensual non-monogamy. Juan Antonio always acts ethically and the relations and emotions among the three lovers are much deeper than some occasional sexuality. The female characters are independent and equal members of the triad so to cut the long story short: if you are curious about polyamory this film is highly recommended!

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/10 Swingers

Swingers (2002) 93min | Drama, Romance | 27 February 2003 (Netherlands) Summary: Despite Diana's insecure nature, she and her husband Julian agree with the idea to sexually experiment with another couple. They put out an ad on the net to which the well experienced Alex ... See full summary »
Countries: NetherlandsLanguages: Dutch
Swingers (2002) 93min | Drama, Romance | 27 February 2003 (Netherlands) Summary: Despite Diana's insecure nature, she and her husband Julian agree with the idea to sexually experiment with another couple. They put out an ad on the net to which the well experienced Alex ... See full summary »
Countries: NetherlandsLanguages: Dutch
Swingers (2002) 93min | Drama, Romance | 27 February 2003 (Netherlands) Summary: Despite Diana's insecure nature, she and her husband Julian agree with the idea to sexually experiment with another couple. They put out an ad on the net to which the well experienced Alex ... See full summary »
Countries: NetherlandsLanguages: Dutch

Swingers is not simply a very realistic and profound depiction of a first-time swinger experience but also an artistically magnificent film. Stephan Brenninkmeijer did a formidable job both with the story and the direction. Check out the trailer and spare 93 minutes on this movie. It is going to be useful and will bring you a lot to discuss!

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/10 The Holy Quaternity

4Some (2012) 78min | Comedy | 23 August 2012 (Czech Republic) Summary: Two middle-aged couples are linked by more than just a lifelong friendship. While relaxing on a Caribbean island, they get an unconventional idea to enrich and, as a result, complicate their sexual lives.
Countries: Czech RepublicLanguages: Czech
4Some (2012) 78min | Comedy | 23 August 2012 (Czech Republic) Summary: Two middle-aged couples are linked by more than just a lifelong friendship. While relaxing on a Caribbean island, they get an unconventional idea to enrich and, as a result, complicate their sexual lives.
Countries: Czech RepublicLanguages: Czech
4Some (2012) 78min | Comedy | 23 August 2012 (Czech Republic) Summary: Two middle-aged couples are linked by more than just a lifelong friendship. While relaxing on a Caribbean island, they get an unconventional idea to enrich and, as a result, complicate their sexual lives.
Countries: Czech RepublicLanguages: Czech

The Holy Quaternity (or 4some) is a great film to start with if you are interested in swinger or polyamory. It makes you laugh and think at the same time while you can peek into the life of two friendly couples who are stretching their boundaries. Available with English subtitles.

Watch the trailer

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10/8 Gloomy Sunday

The Piano Player (1999) 112min | Romance, Drama | 21 October 1999 (Germany) Summary: Follows three men who are in love with a most beautiful waitress: An intellectual restaurant owner, a mysterious musician and an erratic businessman; taking place during the WWII.
Countries: Germany, HungaryLanguages: German, English, Hungarian
The Piano Player (1999) 112min | Romance, Drama | 21 October 1999 (Germany) Summary: Follows three men who are in love with a most beautiful waitress: An intellectual restaurant owner, a mysterious musician and an erratic businessman; taking place during the WWII.
Countries: Germany, HungaryLanguages: German, English, Hungarian
The Piano Player (1999) 112min | Romance, Drama | 21 October 1999 (Germany) Summary: Follows three men who are in love with a most beautiful waitress: An intellectual restaurant owner, a mysterious musician and an erratic businessman; taking place during the WWII.
Countries: Germany, HungaryLanguages: German, English, Hungarian

This movie has many many artistically problematic points. To be honest, in the first 40 minutes I almost quit watching but it was worth to hold on. Gloomy Sunday shows us a far-from-perfect but loveable relationship among a beautiful woman and two men who first compete with each other but later get able to find the other's values in a horrible historical era.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/8 Professor Marston and the Wonder women

Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017) 108min | Biography, Drama, History | 13 October 2017 (USA) Summary: The story of psychologist William Moulton Marston, and his polyamorous relationship with his wife and their mistress who would inspire his creation of the superheroine, Wonder Woman.
Countries: USALanguages: English
Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017) 108min | Biography, Drama, History | 13 October 2017 (USA) Summary: The story of psychologist William Moulton Marston, and his polyamorous relationship with his wife and their mistress who would inspire his creation of the superheroine, Wonder Woman.
Countries: USALanguages: English
Professor Marston & the Wonder Women (2017) 108min | Biography, Drama, History | 13 October 2017 (USA) Summary: The story of psychologist William Moulton Marston, and his polyamorous relationship with his wife and their mistress who would inspire his creation of the superheroine, Wonder Woman.
Countries: USALanguages: English

Remarkable movie, that shows the real story of a triad with great acting and photography. Definitely a recommended one, just please note that BDSM is a possible, but not necessary the part of the non-monogamous relationships.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/8 The Art of Loving- The Story of Michalina Wislocka

The Art of Loving: Story of Michalina Wislocka (2017) 121min | Biography, Comedy, Drama | 27 January 2017 (Poland) Summary: Michalina Wislocka, the most famous and recognized sexologist of communist Poland, fights for the right to publish her book, which will change the sex life of Polish people forever.
Countries: PolandLanguages: Polish, German
The Art of Loving: Story of Michalina Wislocka (2017) 121min | Biography, Comedy, Drama | 27 January 2017 (Poland) Summary: Michalina Wislocka, the most famous and recognized sexologist of communist Poland, fights for the right to publish her book, which will change the sex life of Polish people forever.
Countries: PolandLanguages: Polish, German
The Art of Loving: Story of Michalina Wislocka (2017) 121min | Biography, Comedy, Drama | 27 January 2017 (Poland) Summary: Michalina Wislocka, the most famous and recognized sexologist of communist Poland, fights for the right to publish her book, which will change the sex life of Polish people forever.
Countries: PolandLanguages: Polish, German

A fascinating movie that has an extra layer for everybody coming from Eastern-Europe. The film depicts a real story, the Polish Michalina Wislocka's struggle to teach everyday people to be more conscious about sex. The film has a significant polyamory-related part.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/8 "5 to 7"

5 to 7 (2014) 95min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 12 February 2015 (Ukraine) Summary: An aspiring novelist enters into a relationship with a woman, though there's just one catch: She's married and the couple can only meet between the hours of 5 and 7 each evening.
Countries: USALanguages: English, French
5 to 7 (2014) 95min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 12 February 2015 (Ukraine) Summary: An aspiring novelist enters into a relationship with a woman, though there's just one catch: She's married and the couple can only meet between the hours of 5 and 7 each evening.
Countries: USALanguages: English, French
5 to 7 (2014) 95min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 12 February 2015 (Ukraine) Summary: An aspiring novelist enters into a relationship with a woman, though there's just one catch: She's married and the couple can only meet between the hours of 5 and 7 each evening.
Countries: USALanguages: English, French

An enticing movie that depicts very realistic characters and many typical problematic situations for those who want to get more into open relationships. There is a very important mistake in the plot that brings down its relevancy score, but I need to spoiler to explain it.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/5 Splendor

Splendor (1999) 93min | Comedy, Romance | 12 May 2000 (Iceland) Summary: Veronica, 22, meets a writer and a drummer hunk at a club on Halloween. Why choose when she can have both? 3some? But then a third man comes along.
Countries: UK, USALanguages: English
Splendor (1999) 93min | Comedy, Romance | 12 May 2000 (Iceland) Summary: Veronica, 22, meets a writer and a drummer hunk at a club on Halloween. Why choose when she can have both? 3some? But then a third man comes along.
Countries: UK, USALanguages: English
Splendor (1999) 93min | Comedy, Romance | 12 May 2000 (Iceland) Summary: Veronica, 22, meets a writer and a drummer hunk at a club on Halloween. Why choose when she can have both? 3some? But then a third man comes along.
Countries: UK, USALanguages: English

The movie tells us a story about four people in one love "quadrangle" through the eyes of a charming lady with pretty stereotypic characters.

For the first sight it might look like a "real polyamorous movie" that portrays a theoretically efficient relationship. In my humble opinion it's an extremely disfunctional, toxic relationship, that contains hidden traps. I explain it more with spoliers below.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/5 I love you. And you. And you.

I Love You. And You. And You. (2006) 60min | Documentary | TV Movie 26 July 2006
Director: Liz FriendStars: Mathew Horne
Summary: A documentary looking at polyamorous relationships.
Countries: UKLanguages: English
I Love You. And You. And You. (2006) 60min | Documentary | TV Movie 26 July 2006
Director: Liz FriendStars: Mathew Horne
Summary: A documentary looking at polyamorous relationships.
Countries: UKLanguages: English
I Love You. And You. And You. (2006) 60min | Documentary | TV Movie 26 July 2006
Director: Liz FriendStars: Mathew Horne
Summary: A documentary looking at polyamorous relationships.
Countries: UKLanguages: English

A short documentary about polyamory. Please note that the movie dates back to 2006, and a lot has changed since in the scene, the lifestyle got more accepted and widespread, I think. There is a huge problem with the film as I'll explain with spoilers below.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the film

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/4 Dreamers

The Dreamers (2003) 115min | Drama, Romance | 20 February 2004 (USA) Summary: A young American studying in Paris in 1968 strikes up a friendship with a French brother and sister. Set against the background of the '68 Paris student riots.
Countries: UK, France, Italy, USALanguages: English, French
The Dreamers (2003) 115min | Drama, Romance | 20 February 2004 (USA) Summary: A young American studying in Paris in 1968 strikes up a friendship with a French brother and sister. Set against the background of the '68 Paris student riots.
Countries: UK, France, Italy, USALanguages: English, French
The Dreamers (2003) 115min | Drama, Romance | 20 February 2004 (USA) Summary: A young American studying in Paris in 1968 strikes up a friendship with a French brother and sister. Set against the background of the '68 Paris student riots.
Countries: UK, France, Italy, USALanguages: English, French

Many mention this movie as one of the most important movies about polyamory, but if somebody wants to understand ethical non-monogamy from this film may arrive at very bad consequences. I won't recommend it as a first, introductory movie. I tell more with spoilers below.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/4 Love

Love (2015) 135min | Drama, Romance | 30 October 2015 (USA) Summary: Murphy is an American living in Paris who enters a highly sexually and emotionally charged relationship with Electra. Unaware of the effect it will have on their relationship, they invite their pretty neighbor into their bed.
Countries: France, BelgiumLanguages: English, French
Love (2015) 135min | Drama, Romance | 30 October 2015 (USA) Summary: Murphy is an American living in Paris who enters a highly sexually and emotionally charged relationship with Electra. Unaware of the effect it will have on their relationship, they invite their pretty neighbor into their bed.
Countries: France, BelgiumLanguages: English, French
Love (2015) 135min | Drama, Romance | 30 October 2015 (USA) Summary: Murphy is an American living in Paris who enters a highly sexually and emotionally charged relationship with Electra. Unaware of the effect it will have on their relationship, they invite their pretty neighbor into their bed.
Countries: France, BelgiumLanguages: English, French

Sometimes it's pretty hard to decide whether Gaspar Noé wanted to direct an art film or a porn movie. It became very - maybe even too - naturalistic, also because of the excellent photography.

This movie is more about sexual adventures, cheating and jealousy than ethical, working relationships. The film doesn't show any useful example for us but depicts various mistakes and emergency situations that might be good to think over if you are to start an ethical non-monogamous life.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/2 Nyitva (Open)

Open (2018) 95min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 18 October 2018 (Hungary) Summary: Relationship dramedy about an everyday couple adventuring through the confusing thrills of non-monogamy.
Countries: HungaryLanguages: Hungarian
Open (2018) 95min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 18 October 2018 (Hungary) Summary: Relationship dramedy about an everyday couple adventuring through the confusing thrills of non-monogamy.
Countries: HungaryLanguages: Hungarian
Open (2018) 95min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 18 October 2018 (Hungary) Summary: Relationship dramedy about an everyday couple adventuring through the confusing thrills of non-monogamy.
Countries: HungaryLanguages: Hungarian

A Hungarian movie that is literally not worth to see. The characters are extremely stereotypical, the situations are unrealistic and the solutions are banal. It was a real pain to watch.

Watch the trailer

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10/2 Love to love

Kiki, Love to Love (2016) 102min | Comedy, Romance | 1 April 2016 (Spain) Summary: Under Madrid's scorching summer sun, ordinary couples with real passion and the unquenchable desire to love and be loved, share the same irrepressible urge to investigate their own sexuality through five intertwined stories.
Countries: SpainLanguages: Spanish, English, Spanish Sign Language
Kiki, Love to Love (2016) 102min | Comedy, Romance | 1 April 2016 (Spain) Summary: Under Madrid's scorching summer sun, ordinary couples with real passion and the unquenchable desire to love and be loved, share the same irrepressible urge to investigate their own sexuality through five intertwined stories.
Countries: SpainLanguages: Spanish, English, Spanish Sign Language
Kiki, Love to Love (2016) 102min | Comedy, Romance | 1 April 2016 (Spain) Summary: Under Madrid's scorching summer sun, ordinary couples with real passion and the unquenchable desire to love and be loved, share the same irrepressible urge to investigate their own sexuality through five intertwined stories.
Countries: SpainLanguages: Spanish, English, Spanish Sign Language

A humorous, lovely, enjoyable film that has some reference about polyamory. Good movie with low relevance.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

10/1 Bitter moon

Bitter Moon (1992) 139min | Drama, Romance, Thriller | 18 March 1994 (USA) Summary: After hearing stories of her, a passenger on a cruise ship develops an irresistible infatuation with an eccentric paraplegic's wife.
Countries: France, UKLanguages: English, French
Bitter Moon (1992) 139min | Drama, Romance, Thriller | 18 March 1994 (USA) Summary: After hearing stories of her, a passenger on a cruise ship develops an irresistible infatuation with an eccentric paraplegic's wife.
Countries: France, UKLanguages: English, French
Bitter Moon (1992) 139min | Drama, Romance, Thriller | 18 March 1994 (USA) Summary: After hearing stories of her, a passenger on a cruise ship develops an irresistible infatuation with an eccentric paraplegic's wife.
Countries: France, UKLanguages: English, French

In the centre of this movie is an open relationship but it is anything but ethical. I can not recommend it as a guidance to ethical non-monogamy!

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

(Too bad) You, me and her

You Me Her  | TV Series (2016–2020) 1680min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | TV Series (2016–2020) Summary: Centers around a three-way romantic relationship involving a loving suburban married couple and another woman.
Countries: USA, CanadaLanguages: English
You Me Her  | TV Series (2016–2020) 1680min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | TV Series (2016–2020) Summary: Centers around a three-way romantic relationship involving a loving suburban married couple and another woman.
Countries: USA, CanadaLanguages: English
You Me Her  | TV Series (2016–2020) 1680min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | TV Series (2016–2020) Summary: Centers around a three-way romantic relationship involving a loving suburban married couple and another woman.
Countries: USA, CanadaLanguages: English

We were just not able to watch more than three episodes. I think this is how might lesbians feel when they see lesbian porn: it is just unrealistic and my nurture false ideas in the beginner polyamorists mind.

This is how somebody imagines ethical non-monogamy, who are not polyamorous themselves...

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

(Too bad) Drei

3 (2010) 119min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 23 December 2010 (Germany) Summary: A Berlin-set drama centered on a 40-something couple who, separately, fall in love with the same man.
Countries: GermanyLanguages: German, English
3 (2010) 119min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 23 December 2010 (Germany) Summary: A Berlin-set drama centered on a 40-something couple who, separately, fall in love with the same man.
Countries: GermanyLanguages: German, English
3 (2010) 119min | Comedy, Drama, Romance | 23 December 2010 (Germany) Summary: A Berlin-set drama centered on a 40-something couple who, separately, fall in love with the same man.
Countries: GermanyLanguages: German, English

The film itself was artistically too bad and too unrealistic that we couldn't make it until the end.

I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Watch the trailer

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I also have some critical notes but it may spoiler the movie. Click on the red button if you still want to read it!

Not rated yet Lutine

Lutine (2016) 97min | Comedy | 16 June 2016 (Canada) Summary: A director is filming a documentary on polyamory: somewhere between documentary and fiction, she takes risks and she cannot always measure the consequences. Will her sweetheart be able to stand up to the challenge of polyamory?
Countries: FranceLanguages: French
Lutine (2016) 97min | Comedy | 16 June 2016 (Canada) Summary: A director is filming a documentary on polyamory: somewhere between documentary and fiction, she takes risks and she cannot always measure the consequences. Will her sweetheart be able to stand up to the challenge of polyamory?
Countries: FranceLanguages: French
Lutine (2016) 97min | Comedy | 16 June 2016 (Canada) Summary: A director is filming a documentary on polyamory: somewhere between documentary and fiction, she takes risks and she cannot always measure the consequences. Will her sweetheart be able to stand up to the challenge of polyamory?
Countries: FranceLanguages: French

Watch the trailer

Not rated yet The Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family

Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family (2004) 95min | Documentary | 2 June 2005 (USA) Summary: In his early twenties, Sam Cagnina, oldest son of a Mafia hit man, meets Steven, a handsome 19-year old college student and they fall in love. Then, after a few years Sam offers Steven a "... See full summary »
Countries: USALanguages: English
Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family (2004) 95min | Documentary | 2 June 2005 (USA) Summary: In his early twenties, Sam Cagnina, oldest son of a Mafia hit man, meets Steven, a handsome 19-year old college student and they fall in love. Then, after a few years Sam offers Steven a "... See full summary »
Countries: USALanguages: English
Three of Hearts: A Postmodern Family (2004) 95min | Documentary | 2 June 2005 (USA) Summary: In his early twenties, Sam Cagnina, oldest son of a Mafia hit man, meets Steven, a handsome 19-year old college student and they fall in love. Then, after a few years Sam offers Steven a "... See full summary »
Countries: USALanguages: English

The official website of the film

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Not rated yet A home at the end of the world

A Home at the End of the World (2004) 97min | Drama, Romance | 5 November 2004 (UK) Summary: A boy who has experienced many losses in his life grows to manhood and enters into a love triangle with a woman and his boyhood friend.
Countries: USALanguages: English
A Home at the End of the World (2004) 97min | Drama, Romance | 5 November 2004 (UK) Summary: A boy who has experienced many losses in his life grows to manhood and enters into a love triangle with a woman and his boyhood friend.
Countries: USALanguages: English
A Home at the End of the World (2004) 97min | Drama, Romance | 5 November 2004 (UK) Summary: A boy who has experienced many losses in his life grows to manhood and enters into a love triangle with a woman and his boyhood friend.
Countries: USALanguages: English

Watch the trailer

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